This weekend was rough and I want to share it with you because that's what this blog is about. It's not just about the good stuff, it isn't a highlight reel. I'm here sharing the messy truth about what it's like on the whole journey to a better self. I could just blog about the progress I'm making and show before and after pictures, but that wouldn't be the truth. And let's be honest, we need to know we are not alone in our failures or perceived failures. I know I do. The truth is that progress has been slow for me. The truth is that I didn't feel like running last week. The truth is that I was in a very low place this weekend.
I was excited to go shopping and get some new jeans and tops for fall. The excitement quickly faded after I tried on the first pair of jeans and top. My spirit was broken. I felt so bad about myself because I wasn't where I wanted to be that I just gave up. I was scared to try on anymore pants. It totally ruined my day and in turn my bad mood made me difficult to be around for my family (sorry, guys!) I know this was ridiculous, right? I should be happy of how far I've come. I feel healthier and more fit than ever. I'm training for a half marathon for crying out loud. Who am I? Yea, I tried telling myself these things, but it didn't help. I wanted better results. I beat myself up for not being there and worse yet, I began to compare myself to others, sadly mostly people I don't even know in person. I began doubting myself and putting myself down for not being like so & so who's blog I read or who's before & after picture I saw. Seriously, that was me. I told myself I was being silly and should refocuse on myself and I put all that behind me. I told myself I'm a dork and need to stop comparing myself to others. How we all have our own journeys to take. I'm still having a hard time believing it. I think if I just keep telling myself that, then I'll be ok. Anyone else struggling with feelings of self-doubt? I hope I'm not alone.
So...here's the half marathon training recap for week 9:
Monday: 60 minutes of Pure Intensity Training Class
Tuesday: 4 mile run on the treadmill
Wednesday: 60 minutes of Pure Intensity Training Class
Thursday: 60 minutes of strength training with personal trainer & 1 mile on the treadmill.
Friday: REST DAY - Photographed a wedding, hardly a rest day! On my feet for 8 hrs...
Saturday: REST DAY - I planned to run, but I was too exhausted from the wedding to get up early to run.
Sunday: 3.17 mile run outside. I never thought I'd miss running, but with the lack of running this week, it really felt good to run outside.
Total Miles: 8.17
So much for increasing my running miles this week, huh? All week I just didn't want to run so I listened to my body and went to my P.I.T classes instead. I'm not going to feel too bad about it because I still worked out but I know I really need to focus on half marathon training from now on.