Some days I walk into the gym and feeling like a total badass. I feel amazing, like I'm in my happy place. I walk in feeling Comfortable and confident that I belong there. I'm working hard and this place, this gym, is helping me reach my goals. And then. And then, there are days where I walk in feeling like its the first day of freshman year in high school and I can't find homeroom and I don't know how to open my locker. I look around me and see only young girls with flat abs, hair & makeup done, and of course wearing a matching Lululemon outfit! I look down at my shorts and top that do not match, I can feel my hair already starting to frizz, and well, let's just say there are no abs of steel here! I'd love to say that I shake off those feelings and go on with my workout and kill it, but I'd be lying. The truth is, those feelings of anxiety, self doubt, and pity linger on during my workout and beyond. I begin to question everything I'm doing. Am I working out enough? Should I change my diet? Why am I not seeing results fast enough? Should I lift more? Should I add more cardio? And on and on and on. If it's really bad, I'll even compare my progress with others. I know this is ridiculous, but when you're feeling down, it's hard to think logically.
What makes me snap out of it? How do I get back to feeling like myself again? It's tough, that's for sure. It's hard to just say "enough!" and move on, but that's what it takes. I just have to say, "Enough of this nonsense, I am enough" and believe it. The believing, that's the hard part. Believe I'm good enough, believing I'm working hard enough, believing in the process. Yes, it's tough, but I'm tougher. And so are you! The next time you start feeling down on yourself or worrying that you aren't doing enough, just remember where you started. I think back at the habits I had before and compare it to the habits I have now. Sure, I have my days where I don't feel like a rock star, days I'd rather lay in bed and not workout, days I wish I could eat the whole pan of brownies, but they're only days. They aren't my life. Moments of weakness don't define who I am. They don't make me turn back to who I was before. A moment of weakness are just that, a moment, a very brief period of time. We all have our "moments", but it's important to keep them brief because we can't let a bad moment change the progress we're making.
So, the next time I walk into the gym and see the 20-somthing girl with booty shorts and crop top walking confidently around the gym, I take a deep breathe (yea, I'm sucking it in) and think of how my body has given me 2 healthy beautiful children. I think about how my body has carried me through 30-something years of life. I think of how my body can take so much more than I thought it could. I think about everything I've accomplished so far and I feel proud of who I am. And then, I hold my head up high and I exhale. I am enough.