The Day the Hubs Brought Me Flowers

I was feeling pretty crappy on Tuesday and the hubs brought home these flowers for me to make me feel better.  It didn't really fix my bad mood then.  I didn't even say thank you.  But 2 days later, as I'm sitting at the table planning my day and sipping my coffee, I see them.  Like, I really see these roses.  I see them for what they represent.  I see them and my heart is full.  

These little roses were the kindest of gestures from the hubs.  These roses were his way of saying to me that he's sorry I was having such a bad day and he loved me even in my worst of days.  I didn't see it then, but I see it now.  Like lots of guys, he isn't much of a let's-talk-about-our-feelings kind of person.  And, like lots of us ladies, it bothered me a lot when he didn't want to have huge conversations about our relationship and feelings.  Sure, I wish he was more communicative but I'm learning to understand him more and more.  I'm learning to accept him for who he is.  To accept his love unconditionally, as he gives it.  I'm learning not to read too much into things and take them for face value.  

For example, if he asks what he can do to help around the house, just give him a task or list and accept that he really does want to help.  There's no need for snarky remarks, like "Cant' you see what needs to be done?" OR "Why do you think I need help? You don't think I can handle it?"  The truth is, yea, he probably can't see the mess in front of him.  He can tell I'm stressed and could use the help.  But, in that simple question, "What can I help you with?" is just a husband who loves his wife and wants to help.  Like, honestly help.  He may not be able to offer help in the most eloquent of ways, but isn't the fact that he wants to help enough? It used to not be for me, but I am learning to accept it.  

So, ladies, I know I am not alone.  All you wives and moms reading this, take note.  The next time your husband brings you flowers, say thank you.   When he offers to help you around the house, take him up on it.  Don't get offended.  Being in a relationship is all about balance and learning to love each other as you are.  

Happiness, Love, and Imperfection

My life is not perfect.  It's far from it.  My kids fight too much.  Their rooms don't look like a picture out of a Pottery Barn ad.  Heck, not even a corner of my house could be in a Pottery Barn ad.  At any given moment, when you walk into my bedroom you will see a basket full of clothes to be folded at the foot of my unmade bed.  

But, with all these little imperfections, comes a life I am proud of.  A family I love. A husband I'm in love with more every day.  A love that is based on trust and honesty.  We argue, sure, we aren't perfect remember!?!  But, with this imperfect life, comes so much happiness and so many good times, I wouldn't trade it for the world.  I wouldn't trade it for a cleaner house, a brand new car, or all the Lululemon a girl could dream of!  

Happiness and love come from within.  Not from the exterior things we own or all the cool facebook and instagram pictures we share.  It comes from the struggles, the sacrifices, and hard work to make our marriage and family life work.  How do you measure your happiness? Your love?  Is it measured by your career success? The size of your house? The size of your diamond ring?  These things, albeit nice, do not equal happiness.  What's the point of a big house if there is no love inside?  

I'll admit it, there was a time in my life when these things mattered to me a lot.  I was competing with "friends", and I wanted more than I had.  Was I happy?  Maybe thought I was, at least for a moment.  But the truth is that these things weigh you down.  They steal your happiness and love.

 Happiness is about making memories with those you love!  It's about not caring what other people think of you because you know your own worth.  Being able to find love and happiness in our imperfect lives takes courage, it takes hard work, but it is so, so worth it.  Wouldn't you agree?  Now, let's all go out and choose happiness and love over all else.  

photography by  The Happy Family Movement